Normal Guy - #1
This article is a glimpse into my hauntingly average mind.
About Zach (Me).
Howdy homies. My name is Zach, but you can call me Zach. I think this is my blog. I have no idea what this website is; I just joined because somebody I know vaguely online said it was cool. I will now tell you some stuff about me. To disappoint my closest friends and family, I decided to be an English major with the eventual goal of being a novelist. Unfortunately, those people - my friends and family - love me very much and have supported me in this journey to be a homeless person. This fact removes the angst from my non-existent autobiography. It sucks because I don’t have anything exciting to tell you; I was hoping for the underdog angle. The truth is, I’m just a normal guy. An average Joe. A six-pack Steve. A white guy with questionable taste in music. So, these articles are my honest college attempt at receiving attention for my regular life to cope with the fact that I am remarkably uninteresting. Allow me to introduce you to my stale wonder bread world. Some facts about me: I love tacos, I drive a truck, I like coffee, sometimes I go out and study at a cafe, I like movies, I have a high likelihood of autism, and I get mad at slow traffic. You’re probably waiting for the kicker… I got nothing. So, I guess I’ll show you some of my stories and stuff and If you like it… great. If you don’t like it, I will pray for your taste to improve. The topics I’m going to talk about:
Original Content:
Assuming I don’t abandon my 2 beautiful subscribers by tomorrow, I hope to use this platform to share my writing, art, and video content. My ultimate dream is to be a director/storyteller which means I say, “I want to make a movie one day” and cry sometimes when I watch art (I attached one of my favorite quotes below)
“One day I hope to run at a normal speed to feel the weight of man’s limbs. To feel the gravity of humanity’s soul. I now know the most beautiful parts of life are found within its shadows. That specific darkness and suffering can grow empathy within the most disturbed souls. God, how I see it now. Hence, konichi-whhhhaaaa?!” - Sonic (Sonic the Hedgehog 3)
Storytime:
I have some stories about being a professional artist and part-time human people might find intriguing on a surface level. I want to talk about myself a lot. Since I don’t have the energy to edit a podcast; I think writing a bunch of stuff about how cool and humble I am should tickle that itch.
Media Analysis:
I enjoy movies, books, and music. I have never met anyone who has also enjoyed these mediums; so, talking about them will make my blog stand out. The subjects I will discuss will likely not be anything from pop culture and will instead be me ranting about weird stuff you likely do not care about. However, I am often a hypocrite, so if you see an article about my bashing Taylor Swift for 20 pages… mind your business.
Horror:
I’m quirky in a way because I love stuff that scares me. I’ve always been fascinated with the existentialism and the Teletubbies. I want to talk about horror ARGs and the spooky content I’m making with my friends. Side note, I made a horror series on my phone, click the link below if you want to watch Smile You’re On Camera (there are two seasons if you - for some strange reason - like it).
Theme Parks and Dark Rides:
Every since I was a kid I’ve loved roller coasters and dark rides. I am obsessed with roller coasters and dark rides. I THINK THEY’RE SO COOL!!! LOOK AT MY DRAWING!!! I WANNA TALK ABOUT THEM!!! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!!
Community
Community is something that’s really important to me because - eventually - I’m going start selling super low-quality merch for high prices. I need an army of people to buy at the end of the day… it’s all about money.
Ok, Bye.
That’s all I got; I have no idea what to expect for the future. You should probably click the subscribe button - just in case - and show me affection in the comments. Maybe I’ll remember you when I make my millions; are you REALLY willing to take that chance? I mean… ok risk taker. It’s totally free. Although, you’ll probably gain a lot of knowledge from me if you subscribe. Alternatively, you could blow yourself up. Why anyone would choose that I do not know. Ok, bye again. For real this time. We’ll chat soon.
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